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cantiaohai aka mini_ds

wowim like avoiding watching boys over flower in my mum's presence.
im like clearing up my room which my dad is slping in now...
ohman, i have several reasons to move back to my room.
ahems, firstly it's been quite long since i slept in my own room,
secondly, i cant rly stand my mum's slping habits...
thirdly and most importantly, i can stay up late at night to mug without having my parents to nag at me and of course i can watch the shows all i want without them knowing!
ahaha, so im like desperately trying to restore my room back to how it was.
that will mean loads and loads of posters up and healthy!
haha i shall go buy some new bed sheets and definitely kim bum's posters!
haha, ohman, i feel quite frustrated now when i watch boys over flower becoz that freaking jan di juz keep doing things without any flow of thought de lo.
at first say she wont leave him, then later push him away. like ello?
im like juz watching becoz of kim bum la.
i realised that whenever kim bum appears, i will juz keep staring at his face and forgot to read the subtitles and had to rewind... but it will end up the same again.
aiya, he is too chariming liao lo
ohman... i wnat mug, but mon and tues like quite packed with activities liao lols
ohwells, i shall ahve a little more fun then ahahaha
anyways, mon also not to have fun de mah.. is PW lo
haiz, i think a lot of my june hols time will be spent on PW lo...
i wna look at kim bum all day long la! im like dreaming abt him everywhere! <3

寻找梦想 2:30 PM

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sleep and sleep and sleep
i juz wna lie there and rot and dream of becoming the saxophone that ikm bum plays...
the buttons he press and the reed he place in his mouth...
幸福~ing

寻找梦想 8:22 PM

RIVER VALLEY HIGH SCHOOL OPEN HOUSE!
haha, busy for so many weeks finally it's here.
i feel accomplished and i feel happy and fun too today.
although some parts are still kinda chaotic and my legs are aching becoz of the ushering, i still think that it's fun lo! like i reaped the efforts i put in!
haha everyone, rest well! we had a tough day!
ytd was mad and the day b4 was mad too! we were like totally carrying tables and chairs everywhere... haiz, and i keep hearing pple say: "why let girls carry?"
girls are strong too!
but yea, the guys are rly much stronger and they make me feel weak la. haha some guys anyway. lols i have to admit that the yr 4 batch guys are looking much nicer than our batch guys leh but our guys de attitude is better. haha obviously lols
mr tan is nice! he's like always busy, he put in a lot of hard work for this open hse lo.
and this yr's is confirm better than last yr's!
yes! and he gave me an orange specs! the specs is so cool la!
i love! im going to wear it out someday!
haha i bought ice cream and got this free city of ember poster lol
why not km bum leh ahahahah
june hols have arrived... so fast yet so slow..
u get wad i mean? i want it to come but no i dun too...
hols can slp in, but tht also mean that i will have to start mugging soon! nOOOOOO!
boys over flower is like more sad now.
ohman, when jihu say that he is gna let her go, my heart ache so much
and when he smile a exasperated smile, haiz, i feel his wu-nai!
ohman, he shld be with the girl la.
now im like continue to watch coz of kim bum lo! jiayous! haha <3

寻找梦想 3:24 PM

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心跳加速。。。
原来他还记得，有时候，擦肩而过，会有点失落，但是今天说了蛮多话的！好开心！
虽然，他仍然在酸我，但是，一年多以前的事，他还都记得呢！好欣慰！
是想念吧，另外个他也一样，打个招呼夺回让我开心一整天！
还有还有，另一个，哈哈今天好多发现哦！
喜欢和他一起闹，一起说话，还有他叫我名字的时候。。。
哈哈，虽然很忙，但是就使这些微不足道的事，让我开心地活下去。

寻找梦想 8:39 PM

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stayed in sch late tonight to do the preparation for open hse.
budden i sorta like staying in sch late with frens..
can crap and gossip and sing! haha
not bad la, quite high with qianhui i think.
budden hor, now im like no mood to do work lo.
ohman, last day of sch still needa have vocab pop quiz... like ohmygod??
lols, aiya, i think i will rly needa pia during the june hols lo!
wah, i love singing in kbox with 4i... no embarrassment de lo.
juz scream! i still wna go! no voice then no voice lo!
haha today got back report slip, my results drop...
as expected since im like super slack... ohwells, i muz show my power in mid-yrs!
FIGHTING!

寻找梦想 9:32 PM

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挨骂了。。。
但是我觉得是值得的。
今天，我很开心！乱跑一通，走了很多，还可以跑到 81 名，不错嘛！
然后，快快乐乐的去吃了日本餐！然后再唱 k!!!
我好怀念我们在一起的时光。。。
在印象中，是第一次正式和正阳和季方一起出门，一起飙歌！
怀念酸 serming 的快感。
怀念 anna, constance, jennie, haiwei, 牵起我的手。。。
所以，我今天真的很开心！
谢谢你们！^^

今天早上，听到了。
他真的那么？
可是，我们的世界已经那么不同，我永远都在也看不到那目光了吧。

寻找梦想 9:00 PM

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大家发现了吗？我知道有两个人一定发现了。
发现了吴嘉仪的走远，我才发现，原来我离开好远了。。。
转回头，才发现我留下了很多东西。
没，猛地惊醒， 赫然发现我忽略了很多。。。
想和她说，对不起。我们之间的距离我竟然没发现。
我希望我没发现的太晚，可以找回回到你身边的路。。。
我不知道你说的是不是我，但是，我终于明白了自己哪里不妥。
不久前，我又一段时期，觉得怪怪的，觉得真正的自己不见了。。。
我知道在哪里了。。。
在你们那里，和你们再次相处，我找到了很自在的吴嘉仪。
我想告诉你，我们的友情永远不会散。
因为，吴嘉仪的一部分已经属于你。。。
所以，吴嘉仪，终于回来了呢！^^

但是我们又失败了。。。 为什么！无声的呐喊。。。

我想回到过去嘛。。。

寻找梦想 8:38 PM

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ahah ytd i forgot to mention lo..
when i took the bus back to bedok frm east coast with siyu, i lost my hp leh...
aft i alighted frm the bus, smth in my mind asked me to check my bag...
so i checked and i cant find my hp!
then i freaked! thank god got siyu with me lo!
she kept me calm and asked me to empty my bag to check more carefully.
well, i was still panicking, then she called my hp and im like thinking die die die le...
haizm but then she said someone picked up the phone and she hello-ed all the way, and the person says that he is gna put the phone to the bus interchange control station.
THANK GOD!!!
ohmy, it's the bus driver juz now lo! ohmy! im like so relieved!!!!!!
i will regret to death lo! got my beloved hp strap and my love at first sight phone leh!
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think these few days im rly muddle head lo!
coz i left my laptop charger in school juz now lo...
almost called my entire contact list to ask who is still in sch...
lols THANK GOD again that haiwei and pamela help me take le!
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
is this called a series of unfortunate events?
i forgot my tie this morning so i went back home to take, i was almost at the bus stop liao leh! aiyo then i went back and when i came back down, i saw tht my bus left...
sian la...
but im like fortunate in the unfortunate events le lo in a certain way.
anyways, lets' all jiayous for tmr GP test.
i have a bad feeling abt it.. AQ... i cant seem to master it.
haiz, jiayous for cross country too! and jiayous having fun aft cross country! woots!
FIGHTING!

寻找梦想 6:46 PM

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haha quite a lot of things happened this weekend. so busy that i have no time to do hmwk.
sat got SC meeting then got PW meeting then go home all i do is slack.
PW meeting is quite fun also but i eat until my stomach inflate lo!
ohmygod, is damn full until i feel damn uncomfortable.
haha then i hide under tongjing's dining table!
it's a damn good place to hide leh! got a lot of security!
the after that more happy le! woots!
look at econs will die, stare at the qn and nothing goes into my head.
flip through the notes and i dunno where to get the ans!
haiz, so i might as well give up and go to sleep earlier since today i have to wake up damn early..
i woke up at like 445am.. lols scary right...
i was woken up by my leg cramp. pain until like mad! argh!
my whole body was scrunched up lo and then my mum told me the time and im like supposed to wake up soon anyway..
i went down to wait for the first bus at arnd 535am, budden u knw wad it came at 610am lo!
and im like supposed to reach bedok at 645am?? impossible!
haha then im like panicking and argh-ing and then siyu called me and told me she is still at bukit batok, then im like ohkays then aha! then we reach east coast and started doing the cheering.
the flapping ballons are cool lo! and the pom poms too!
we had fun playing with them la! woots!
it ended pretty early and then we wanted to walk to Macs so that we can catch the breakfast meals slots... haha
but BUT BUT! the way there is like so long la, walk until mu muscle ache!
then we juz aiya, go BK eat lo... me and siyu coz we also missed the breakfast slots liao mah...
i think the outing quite fun leh. although i always feel guilty when aft the weekend passed and i din do anything at all.
but today im rly tired la, slept for 2 hrs when i reach home...
rly no mood to do anything academically.... sian, i shall pia tmr bah...
i love the pics we took today! they are damn nice leh!!
ahaha!! ^^





I especially love this one! It's my castle! And Kim Bum will be my prince!



Ahaha! Siyu! cute huh! :D



another fav pic! so nice right! 我城堡的后院！




nice nice grp pic!





there is smth wrong with my hair...






argh, the hole is still there lo ohmy!

寻找梦想 9:14 PM

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我想只有在经过雨天之后，才会领悟到彩虹的美。
知道吗，你们的每句话语，都让我感到很温暖。
虽然，心里还是被一股阴影笼罩着，但是，和你们相处，聊天，我是开心的。
只有在那一瞬间，烦恼不见了，嘉仪回来了。
我想感谢，谢谢每一个愿意听下来，听我诉苦的人。谢谢。
特别想感谢的人有好几个，谢谢你们让我在冰冷中感受到温暖，让我有勇气去追寻那个迷失的自己。谢谢愿意鼓励我得大家！
SIYU! from now on, i knw that i can depend on u whenever im feeling down. i knw that u will be there for me! <333
JUNAN! Thz! for the immediate sms after u saw my blog, that rly means a lot to me! <333
SHIYUAN! first to knw! first to comfort me! thank you! haha thx for keeping me distracted with all the boys over flower talk!! <333
CONSTANCE! thx! for me being by my side, juz sitting with u makes me smile already! thx for being with me! thx for taking the initaitive to let me knw everything and telling me that im close to u! thx alot! <333
HUIYUAN! thx for comforting me and making me feel happy again! thx for needing me! i need u too! <333
HAIWEI! i want a hug! i wna see u smile at me and brighten up mu day! <333
TZEHUI! thx for filling up my tag board! thx for comforting me! <333
LAU: thx for always comforting me and pushing and encouraging me on! i will bring the jiayi back de! Thz for believing in me! i have trust in u too!! <333
JENNIE! thx! i need all the time with u pple again! so that i can free myself and laugh like i used to! and not fret over anything! thx girl! <333

thank you! i wont disappoint all of u again!
let all the emo emo posts never appear in my blog again!
say yays and hoorays!

寻找梦想 6:15 PM

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沮丧。。。 有了放弃的念头。
大家真的看不到我的努力吗？
我承认，我失去了那个勇敢奋斗的嘉仪，我迷失了。
可是，我真的有那么糟糕吗？打击一连串。我快受不了了。
可不可以有一个人了解我的心情？当我露出悲伤的表情时， 大家可不可以不咬给我那种不耐烦的眼神？因为我的心似乎已经不能再承受任何打击了。
你们可不可以不要说：她又不开心了。
可不可以站在我的立场想一想。我退步了，压力好大。
以前那个自信十足，笑口常开，为自己的梦想坚持下去，永不放弃，勇敢地走下去的吴嘉仪，还好吗？现在她在哪里呢？还会回来吗？
取而代之的，是一个常常被失望击败的女孩，一个被人批评后，看贬自己的女孩，一个跌倒后，忘记怎么站立的女孩。。。
自卑。。。 绝望。。。失去了所有斗志，忘记了奋斗的意义，是个空壳。
但是，我的心，还存有一个小小的希望。
可不可以，有一个人走向我，主动抱着我，让我能有勇气，把心里的悲伤哭出来。
可不可以呢？
会不会有这样的人？不知什么时候，我不会那么容易哭了。。。
哭，也不再是为了自己。
我是不是连哭的勇气都失去了呢？我活着还有意义吗？
如果一直被否定，如果达不到目标，如果哭不出来，那么那一股被憋在心里的悲伤是不是会把仅剩的嘉仪给吞没了呢？
嘉仪，回来吧。。。 即使这个世界上没有人需要你，我还需要你！
请你回来吧，求求你，回来吧！

寻找梦想 4:17 PM

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i got 2 frens, behaving weirdly.

I knw that smth is troubling them budden i dunno wad are they miserable abt and i feel useless, unable to do anything...

am i gna lose them?

girls, wad exactly is wrong?

i wna give them a huge hug, but can i? they somehow seem so unfamiliar now?

can i still go up and hug them like i used to?

寻找梦想 8:44 PM

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金贤重，金范！天啊！他们是女生们的希望和梦想中的王子！
高贵，温文尔雅，大方，又体贴。。。 而且有很帅呢！
多希望自己是女主角。。。
想不到世界上的帅哥其实还是有的。
我又重燃希望了呢！

寻找梦想 8:31 PM

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忙。。。

寻找梦想 10:54 PM

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我现在真的是被金映明迷得团团转！太帅了！太酷了！爆点！！！
以下是几句让人溶化的话语, 当然是王子型的金映明说的咯！

骑着脚车酷酷的说，上来，我送你。
坐这里，脚车的恋人特坐席！
酷酷的灌篮！
为了你，我不会输的，不要放弃我！
从今以后，她是我的！
为了我最重要的人！

哇！他说的每一句话，每一个动作，都让我觉得幸福呢！！

好啦好啦，蒙太一其实也有说过一句让我热泪盈眶的话，
下次不要再丢下我，好不好。。。 我担心时间太长我会找不到回到你身边的路。。。

心动~~ 心寒- ing !!!

寻找梦想 3:34 PM

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我快被金映明给电死了啦！
帅到暴点！！！
im watching one litre of tears special episode now!
woots! damn touching! Asou-kun became a doctor for aya!
she still meant a lot a lot to him!
and i cried again... lols ohwells.
now im finally relieved, free of stress.
went to ikea with siyu and we ate and i spent all my money haha lols
i shall spam drama all weekend!
<333

寻找梦想 8:13 PM

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今天的心情不是说很好，有点自己好失败的感觉。。。

不过，还是有开心的时候，妈妈，谢谢你陪我回家！
我会乖乖的当个开开心心的小一生， 还在等你帮我找个帅帅的老爸和老公哦！

还有，麻雀要革命，小麻雀可能很混乱，但是我很清楚了哦！
不再混乱的我，心灵上再一次找到了寄托，我知道不管男主角有多帅，不管他对麻秋秋付出了多少，但是我真正会喜欢的，会把心灵奉献出去的，还是那个冷酷王子，金映明！
只有在迷失自己后，才会找到真正的自己。
原来，我一直都不是在伪装，而是在寻找。
该开心了，因为我找到了！

寻找梦想 8:34 PM

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well, there arent many events or outings this break, so most of the time i am juz doing hmwk and slacking and dazing in front of the tv...
but there are a couple of nice books that i have been reading
and for a very long time, i have never felt like a bookworm.
and i guess i like this feeling of being a bookworm, becoz i can find myself and be myself in all of these... so i guese i will be happy again, becoz i think books and drama and stories are wad that fill my life.

寻找梦想 3:22 PM

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我怎么都觉得自己好像是麻秋秋一样混乱，不知道要喜欢哪个男生。。。
当然如果我是麻秋秋，我将会是多么幸福。。。
蒙太一性格火爆，但是会守护你到最后。。。 大大咧咧，但是很真诚，作出的事情很感人。
金映明性格冷酷，但是完完全全是我的类型，暗地里作出让你意外又感动的事情。
你叫我到底应该支持谁啊？

寻找梦想 1:56 PM

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dipping oreo with milk... double stuf oreo and meiji pure milk.
i bought a very nice tenth team hp strap! :D love it!
我好喜欢好喜欢金映明！他就是我的类型嘛！
不过蒙太一夜真不错，性格我也满喜欢的。唉！真难选择呢！
像金淳熙和龙日一， 不过我还是会选金淳熙，也就是我会选金映明啦！不过这一次，我会为了蒙太一而伤心。。。
四大家族耶！真不简单！金氏，河氏，北氏，上霞氏。。。 当然还有，李氏， 圣氏。。。 <3

寻找梦想 4:33 PM

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有时候你说话真的好伤人
直接是一件好事，但是太过直接只会让别人对你怯步
我好气
你只是一昧的批评别人，认为每个人都会和你有一样的想法，一样的评为。
实际上，我们好累，我们尽量不像伤害你，但是却伤害了我们自己。
人的忍耐限度实在是有限的，请你不要逼我对你爆发。。。
我本以为是自己变了，是自己变得坏了，只看的到你的缺点，可是再仔细想想，我会留恋你的好。。。 可是有时候，你还是真的太过分了。真的。检讨一下吧。。。

寻找梦想 9:11 PM

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i din emo today, no i din, i really din.
i feel weird, it's not emo, it's worse than emo.
i dun feel like talking, i dun feel like moving even.
i juz wna be alone... and yet i dwell in the sadness...
even the walk home seems miserable, i cant feel myself...
and every step seems so heavy.
i wonder wads wrong with me.
i think it's the blow after blow and the mixed feelings that turn me into this.
every smile seems tough to me.
why? Why have i learnt how to pretend?
it's so tiring... why did some smiles of mine flicker and became so fake?
wads wrong with me?
is this juz another stage of life that i have to go through?

jiayi says a chocolate a day keeps sadness away.
but can simple chocolates help?

寻找梦想 8:25 PM

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im tired...
from all those pretending and tolerating and unable to be me anymore

寻找梦想 9:14 PM

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i think im going to die too...
becoz i cant help but keep slacking and slacking
argh! i cant even stand my own slackiness lo! argh!
today really slack whole day lo...
i also went HCJC for the geog seminar and not bad la...quite cool leh
haha
what is constant is change!
lols still got one more phrase i like a lot... which is my nick now also haha
我爱的人，不是我的爱人

寻找梦想 9:38 PM

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did i fail to mention that i bought a golden converse bag!
woots it's damn nice la! i bought it on fri with my mum.
at first i was still staring at the very nice pink sneakers and then i saw this super nice gold bag!
haha
it's fantastic la! im going to bring it to sch tmr!
ohya, and shiva called me again.
although we like only talk a short while, budden it already filled my entire heart with love!
i miss all of them, all of them.
i really do.. <333

寻找梦想 1:22 PM

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嘉仪版标准男生必有条件：

1）高度要超过 180 公分（178 cm 也行）[我遇到了好几个。。。]
2) 身材中等，不可过瘦，也不能到处都是肌肉 [大概没几个是肌肉男吧。。。]
3）稍稍有点大男人主义 [还好吧。。。]
4）不善于表达自己的情感 [很少见。。。]
5）给人的感觉带点冷漠，伤感 [出现了，但只是错觉。]
6）喜欢你，在乎你，但却不会明示 [遇到的都是优柔寡断型]
7）在一举一动当中， 小小的细节当中表露出对你的爱意 [没有耶！]
8）绝对不甜言蜜语 [不错啦，还是有的]
9）诚实，坦白 [身边就有好几个了哦！]
10）偶尔逗逗你，但是终究还是会迁就你 [不清楚我认识的到底算不算]
11）知道自己错了便会道歉，不会蛮不讲理 [大部分的艘是这样，可喜可贺！]
12）果断 [还好而已]
13）了解你， 欣赏你的优缺点[很难]
14）欣赏你独有的安慰方式 [超难]
15）不会和女生太靠近，觉得女生要有一定的矜持 [非常难]
16）会功夫，会保护女生 [少]
17）勇敢，不怕事 [少之又少]
18）要有正义感 [更少]
19）完完全全相信你 [从来没遇到]
20）没有任何理由的爱上你 [一样没遇过]

这可不是我一是无聊才写的哦，我把这些条件列出来，是想看看是世界上真没有这种人还是只是我还没有遇到而已。而我认定，世界上这样的男生可能真的很少，但是稍不代表没有，就让我慢慢的期待，慢慢的等待，希望能盼到有个男生是符合以上 20 大条件的呵呵！

寻找梦想 4:21 PM

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woots! i went singapore flyer ytd with wuyi, sinyee, qianhui, chingxin, xinyu!!! Damn fun!

寻找梦想 10:40 PM

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