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cantiaohai aka mini_ds

yeehaa!
this weekend... hmm, im not as productive leh.
but hor but hor!
i bought 2 new chinese books today!!!
人鱼泡泡 one and two!:D
i bought at popular! my mum refuses to buy for me though,
so i have to fork out the money on my own. :/
ohwells! better than nothing! and the synopsis at the back seems not bad.
seems sweet and nice!~
alrights, i shall try and resist the urge to read.
try~~~
and... taadaas!
i have told my aunts that i want Percy Jackson series<333
aiya but sadded, i forgot to mention the Inkheart series and the Eragon series!
aiya! haha but i shant be greedy, anyway, still got the chance de la!
WHEEEEE!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~

寻找梦想 9:11 PM

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bought the notebook that i sorta fell in love with at first sight.
Thinking of using it for GP...
but using such a nice book for studies, abit zzz...
so i shall bring it with me all around.
to record down whatever things that i wanna say.
whatever inspiration that struck me.
love the book to the max!
love the picture on the cover and the words too!
haha...
feeling kinda stressed nowadays.
seeing everyone mug and feeling that im too slack.
even though that i did try to mug too.
but i still dun think i put in enough effort.
i can do better than this.
hopefully.
again, there are more and more things for me to worry.
first time in my life, i juz dunwanna care abt anything.
i juz want time to mug.
i dunwanna do anything else anymore.
i even resort to thinking of sacrificing my slp time to mug.
but thats wad i think.
actions wise, nah.
im not that desperate, yet.
and i dun think there is anything much more impt that my slp now.
im severely slp deprived.
on the other hand, shld i apply to live in the hostel?
i mean, the travelling time can be saved.
but can i live out there on my own?
and who is gonna share the room with me?
On second thoughts, i better not. haha

寻找梦想 9:25 PM

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Friends.
So simple to meet, so simple to lose.
Quarrels.
They occur among people that are close.
Close people speak their minds freely thereby causing conflicts.
Changes.
Do more harm than good?
I see how people evolve to become who they are today.
Changes that i love, changes that i hate.
I see the changes that occur in me.
The way i think, the way i act, the way i dress.
But when i turned, the you beside is different.
Is it you who has changed? Or is it the lenses that i use to see?
But, you are my friend.
That is all i need.
That is all i need for me to tolerate, for me to smile and cry with you, for me to give you hugs and cherish our relationship.
But, why do people treat friends for granted?
Why are they so selfish in the sense that they sacrifice their friends for themselves?
Doubt. Hate. Hurt.
Why do people speak of breakups so easily?
It is not childish, it is cruel.
Why can't we just keep holding hands and walk down the path together?
Is it the changes that keep us apart?
Then won't these changes make us regret for life?
People change, life change, so friends must change too?
I dun think so.

***

Went Huiyuan's house to watch titanic. lols
then rushed to sumo hse to eat :D
and KBOX! <333

寻找梦想 8:23 PM

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Why do i long to hear your voice over the phone?
Why do i wanna hear you laugh beside me?
Why do i still wanna be in that position when i clearly dislike you?
Dislike. That may be too much of a strong word.
I am not sure.
Do i dislike you?
No. Maybe not.
I think i like you quite a lot.
That is why i am so affected by you.
That is why i wanna laugh and have fun together with you.
Sometimes i feel so happy beside you.
But sometimes i feel sad.
Is that part and parcel of being with you?
Should i then, stop complaining and stand by you?
But, we both know. That it is not filled with sincere committment.
Then why is it that i wanna be by your side?
Why is it that a simple word, a simple gesture from you can determine the smile on my face?
It's not only you then, i realised.
Problems that i have not seen before.
People that i have not met before.
Friends that i thought i knew.
They are all different, and so are you.
So, should i just simply accept it? And go on?

寻找梦想 9:53 PM

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exploring and the new found joy juz started to kick in.
well, i cant say that the old one was bad
coz it is rly good
and i once loved it very much.
well, i still do love it now.
thats why i feel that bit of pain and i dun bear to keep it in a box unused.
sighs and i have kinda hard time adapting to the new ones.
still trying to discover some fantastic characteristics of it
so as to convince myself that the change was justifiable.
ohwells, but i kinda feel satisfied when i discover a new part it.
ahh wells, i wont forget u! who pei me for the past 2 years!

went to je lib to do oscars today.
ahh wells...

寻找梦想 9:29 PM

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went to NTU today with anna and huiyuan.
well, i looked into those areas that i am interested in
and i am totally certain that NTU appeals to me more than NUS somehow.
ohwells, i still got loads of hmwk to do.
demoralised and depressed and emo-ed.
haiz, i shall finish that pile first before thinking anything more about Uni.
ohwells, tmr will be a happy and joyous day!
dun tell you'all first, let you'all find out slowly!
hehe and my mum and i, we are going to the charles and keith warehouse sale tmr!
SHOPPING!~
now, thats more like a holiday! :D

寻找梦想 8:36 PM

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I felt naked
and every moving sound startled me.
I looked up
only to see my refelcted self
and ponder
over the unanswerable questions.
Why do these emotions
carry me to the land of nowhere?
No one knows,
neither do I.
I am left vulnerable
out in the open
where coldness covers my exterior
but deep inside
do I still feel the warmth of passion
or has the light of fire begin to die?


Do you not know?
Or are you doing it on purpose?
The words you say, the action you do,
pierce me with every wound deep in my heart.
First, you tried to dominate over my thinking,
always feeling that you are the right one.
I know that you only treat friends that way so as to make use of them.
I know.
I can tell that i am not your bestest friend.
And i don't want to be.
Because being beside you just saps me of my energy.
I am tired and i feel my temper rising.
Am I not making it obvious enough?
For you to realise that i am shunning you?
That i do not want to be anywhere near you?
And yet, the almighty self that you claim yourself to be, fails to acknowledge that.
I just want some peace.
And that totally seems impossible around you.
You attack me, at my most vulnerable areas.
Stabbed me hard, and left me to bleed.
Expecting me to be always by your side
when you don't even treat me with sincerity.
I am not your friend, I am not your sidekick.
I back down not because i agree, but because i want to save this friendship.
I tolerate, but that doesn't mean that you can push over my limit.
Yes, you. I am talking about you.
I guess a lot of people already knew who i was talking about.
Some may feel unexpected.
But take a closer look, and you can see.
We were never close.
Fate brought us so far, and yet we chose to distance oursleves.
We are just not capable of being friends.
Just acquintances, that will be all.
So shut your non-stop, irritating mouth and stop hurting me!

寻找梦想 8:35 PM

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DJ: Tell us, what would you like to own most from your fav celebs?
Me: Jesse McCartney's water bottle and his hugs! WOOHOO!
Vendetta: that's a cute sms.
Young: Why water bottle?
V: Tsk! Coz, when she drinks from the bottle, it will feel like kissing him! (dreamy tone)
Y: Eew!
V: haha can make out with the bottle!
Y: Ohmygod! That's so disgusting!
Me: Crazy laughter alone on the bus!
haha lols that was fun!

On another note,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY QIANHUI!!!! <333

寻找梦想 5:36 PM

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im gonna be so dead...
ohnos... haiz there is this bad lingering thought in me.
on the way home on the bus today, i passed by holland v.
and i saw the coffee club that we had PW meeting at once.
although we were kinda scammed of our money but i kinda missed it.
well, i subconsciously smiled to myself and that suddenly made me realised
that i kinda missed PW.
where we used to crap arnd and do silly stuff tgth.
we shld really have some outing soon :D

haha and 女人， 我们一定要做一辈子的朋友 ohkay?
我们那么的谈得来。。。以后也要常常像这样聚一聚哦！
有什么事也要第一个和对方说哦！<3!

寻找梦想 6:24 PM

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hehe thank god today sch ends early.
I love mondays although i totally hate the part where i have to drag myself
out from my bed and to school.
budden at least i get to go home earlier,
watched a bit of tv and lagged arnd~
haha btw, when i was on the bus home this afternoon...
i saws this banner...
and guess wad it says?
BRANDED GOODS ON SALE!
i can sense my shopaholic self emerging already~
Girls, anybody interested?
It's 23rd march to 13th march if im not wrong.
Mon to Fri: 7am to 9pm
Sat: 10pm to 4pm
haha if i din remember wrongly ^^
PSA building. #01-03 it is the building near our old sch campus at malan road.
haha ANNA!~ wanna go?
Got alot leh~ Gorgio Armani, Chloe and alot more!
Lets go! Then go to our 秘密基地？
on the 13th March? want? want? want?

寻找梦想 4:52 PM

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