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cantiaohai aka mini_ds

今天。。。心情一大早的时候就不是很好了。
虽然我早就预料到了。。。但是看到事实的时候，心情还是糟透了。
好像立刻沉到海底一样。。。
面对别人说的话也只是勉强应付掉。
真是对不起哦。。。
因为我很努力的在忍，忍住那些就快流出来的泪水。。。
可是啊！失败的一塌糊涂。。。
一进班眼泪就不受控制得掉了。
谢谢 tzehui and cass 陪着我。。。安慰我。。。
一直听我哭了那么久。。。
我很没用哦！
本来以为控制好了，可是一和 siyu 说话又哭了。
在班外呆了很久。。。哭着哭着，都累了。眼睛也肿起来了。
我还蛮失败的哦！今天一定吓坏了大家吧！对不起哦！
给你们添了那么多麻烦。真是不好意思。。。
谢谢大家。。。安慰我，鼓励我。。。
虽然很困难，但是我会努力站起来的。
努力找回以前的自信。。。
是我这一次不够努力了吧！
迷太多帅哥。。。看太多偶像剧了啦！
得学习克制。还得学会如何好好控制我那一发不可收拾的情绪。。。

我好像喜欢一些奇奇怪怪的东西。。。
那个幸福A计划里面。。。
哈哈！

寻找梦想 9:13 PM

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today get back a lot of test papers.
3 leh! math, econs and geog...
and all nvr reach my standards leh! sobs!
i wont be able to reach my expectations leh...
now dun even knw whether i can maintain my grades not lo...
but im rly quite sad la and emo and 自卑。
唉！沮丧哦！
but then alrights la... not fantastic, but also not very bad...
so i shall put in extra effort next year lo!
nothing much le leh... im like already in the hols mood...
haha i juz wna heck and do nothing leh! oops!
then tmr i got flag duty!
i always so nervous de lo!

寻找梦想 8:28 PM

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ahaha today went for cip at jurong point.
other than me having to wake up damn early so as to reach there at 715am...
this cip is actually quite relaxed.
we are usherers, so we basically have to guide the elderly along the way.
but the thing is that we dun rly have much time to interact with them lo...
so frm 8 to 11, we just stood there and usher..
and im quite impressed with my leg power haha!
then ohmygod! i saw my geog teacher, mr eric ng!
haha he like quite stun to see me also la!
haha so coincidental lo!
then today the lunch also damn grand leh! like wedding dinner lidat!
wow lo! then me and pam totally explored the jurong safra!
woots! then i saw the kids amaze playground!
i wna go also!!! <3333
so so so so FUN!!!!
then we also went to sit on the massage chair!
so fun and we also went to the lib and i borrowed all the books that i wanted!
SUPERB LA!!!!!

寻找梦想 9:21 PM

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哈哈刚刚看了第一集的原来我不帅。
还蛮不错的哦！
看到林俊杰烟的小莊角色时那种可爱的痴心男。。。
还蛮酷的呢！
看到他因为我了喜欢的女生的手儿高兴的心上了一整夜。。。
我就在想，我何尝也不是呢？
上次我了林俊杰的手，不也一样高兴了很多天吗？
哈哈！虽然他的帅不是外在的，但是他真的有 charm 到我哦！
现在要看蜡笔小新了！
太好了！生活本来就是该这样的！
悠闲，轻松又自在！
待会儿，还可能去吃 akira 呢！
万岁！

寻找梦想 12:15 PM

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今天。。。是不冷不热的一天。
既不是很开心，也算不上不开心。。
温热温热的感觉，是阿夹最喜欢的。
不知道为什么，最近一直提起阿夹。
不知道为什么，最近心里也多了很多思念。
五年了吧。。。大家都认为我这个不可思议的初恋一定会早早就完了。
但是我坚持到现在哦！
不知不觉，看到那些衰的男生，就会拿它们来和阿夹比较。
一见钟情的男生。第一眼看就很肯定地知道我会很喜欢他。
今天早上很高兴哦！
我急急忙忙出门了之后，转巴士时，咦？看到了我小六时期的学妹。
哇！我们俩还是一眼就能认得出彼此。
聊得很开心，虽然只有短短的一下下而已， 可是真的很开心能够看见她。
知道她还会认得我，会和我打招呼。
笑容大大的离不开嘴哦！
本来以为今天会是最完美的一天，但是没有啊！
完美的行程改期了，但是我会期待的哦！
今天买了很多礼物，也算有很多收获，很丰富咯！
所以啊！真的是不冷不热的天最好呢！

寻找梦想 9:03 PM

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其实你还不是一样很 extreme...
你的太过保护让我觉得喘不过气来。
你只是纯粹的把感情强压在我身上。
你觉得怎么样的，就会认为我和你的想法是一样的。
拜托！我真的很想告诉你，我十七岁了。不是七岁啊！
我可能很孩子气，但是我也需要我应得的自由。
连打个耳洞都需要听你的唠叨。。。
我无言以对。
你对迟回家的定义。。。让我很困扰。
明明就很早啊!
明天去 KBOX 到七点嘛！你却要我六点就走。。。
为什么啊！
让我不想去了。。。
但是，我不会因为你的举动而牺牲和朋友玩闹的时间的。
因为那不值得。
本来爸爸的态度差，现在却轮到妈妈了。。。
我不可以有一个正常的家庭吗？
你处处的管，让我感到很头痛。
有时你探过头来看我的手机，我会很不自在的翻白眼。
你难道不知道隐私吗？
听个电话过后，你会问我你时而听到的内容。
你知道吗？那样的你很讨厌。
整天挂在嘴边的爱我，疼我什么的话语。。。
却连最基本的尊重都不能给我。
比起你的甜言蜜语，我更想看到的是你爱的行动。
理解我，时而松，时而严的管教。
然后，在我最需要的时候给我一点点鼓励，而不是和我争吵。
你不觉得我一进了女儿的本份了吗？
虽然我打理家务时很差，厨艺也一塌糊涂，但是我有努力啊！
你又看到吗？
你还是不明白吧。。。
有些东西是需要用行动来表示的。
而不是用嘴巴说说。
像阿夹说的一样，什么都是嘴上说说，妈妈从来没有正眼看过我一眼。
她从来没有试着去了解我的真心。
明明知道我的性格和你大不相同。。。但是你还是用吧你的想法当成我的。
我。。。累了，还能忍多久呢？
不过，今天我去买了朋友的礼物。。。
很特别哦！我也发现自己捧在心里，最珍贵的朋友都在我身边！
爱你们哦！！

寻找梦想 8:29 PM

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今天去买了两本书。
超便宜，超值的，让我觉得十分满足！
好开心！我有好多好多书要看！ 好兴奋哦！
Anna 说得对，其实像我们这样的女生，希望的来源都是从书上得来的啊！
就是因为我们明白现实里不会有我们想要找的王子，所以我们才会把我们的寄托放在童话故事里嘛！
考试终于考完了。
但是我竟然没有想象中的开心和轻松。
可能是因为知道自己不会考得很好。。。
可能是因为知道 A levels 眨眼就快到了。。。
身上的压力就一直消磨不掉。
不过，我会努力的。
只是，这几天我好像长大了不少。
虽然只是增长了一岁，但是心灵上的成长好像真的很多。
但是我没有变哦！
我发现，我一直都没有变。。。
变的是别人。。。
疏离感。。。 我们不是最好的朋友吗？
身边，朋友多了。还想很多人都认识我。
但是知己还是那几个。
我知道我很自私，想要你们各个都陪我在原地踏步。
会不会，有一天我发现大家都走了，就留下我一个呢？

i wna slack all day long~!

寻找梦想 8:58 PM

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IT'S FINALLY OVER!!!!
YAYS! AFTER THE TWO AND A HALF WEEKS OF TORTURE!
i like so long nvr blog and so long nvr online...
lols ohmygod! finally my life is coming back!
so many books to read!
so many drams to watch!
so many places to go!
yays! ^^
shall play all i can b4 the doomsday come! <333

寻找梦想 8:11 PM

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haha i wore pamela's necklace, constance's bracelet and erjie's ring
to my cousin bdae party today! <333
this jewelery set will forever be my fav!! <333
touched not? haha lols

today will be the last...

寻找梦想 12:16 AM

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今天是我的生日！
也是我这一辈子最幸福，最快乐的一天！
我好感动！也有好多好多想要感谢的人。
虽然这特别的一天就要在钟声敲打的第十二下结束了，
但是我可是享受了今天的每一分钟哦！

today morning, i sleepily went to check my phone and ohmygod i see a lot a lot of messages! 20 plus! im like so happy!
haha although like maybe abt 2/3 is contributed frm my cousin!
thank you! all of you!
who send me all the well wishes!
thank you for remembering my bdae! Loves ya! <333
i shall list them all! because im rly touched! many many thanks!
JUNAN!
TANYANTONG!
IRIS!
ERJIE!
JENNIE!
HUIYUAN!
ANNA!
LIHUI!
SERMING!
JESSLYN!
CONSTANCE!
SIYU!
HUIEN!
WUYI!
SIEWLIN!
EMERSON!
JINGYUAN!
JANICE!
haha yes thanks for sending me all the bdae well wishes! yays thank you!

then i went to school, and i received anna's present that she tempted me like i think for abt 6 months lo!
then i got dragged to sc room by pamela.
and ohmygod! welfare dpt is there and they sang bdae song for me!
and gave me this huge huge card with all the well wishes by them!
im like so touched! nearly cried lo! and i abit paiseh, dunno wad to do.
but i really need to thank them! for making my bdae so wonderful!
THANK YOU! STUDENT COUNCIL! <333

then i went to class and i got more prezzies from qianhui, siyu and cass! cards from wuyi and tongjing! ohmygod! love them la! <333
then i started opening them and i started to tear when i read anna's letter!
thank you! i rly appreciate wad u are did for me!
it's so meaningful! <333
everything is like esp for me! and i feel so so touched and warm and so loved by you!!! <333
THANK YOU ANNA!~
then i opened huiyuan's prezzie and thx for the domo! haha it's cute lo!
THANK YOU HUIYUAN!~
wow! pamela, ur prezzie look so grand lo!
i will definitely wear it out de! thnx for the necklace!!!!
THANK YOU PAMELA!~
next is siyu! yays she bought me a new book and study planner! somemore
her entire card is orange de leh! ohmygod la!
so nice!!!! im like admiring it!
THANK YOU SIYU!~
then i opened qianhui's! another so meaningful de!
she made it herself leh! im very touched too lo!
it's beautiful ohkay! i rly appreciate it!
although u keep suan-ing me today since morning,
but still THANK YOU QIANHUI!~

then during break i went for the pe theory test...
and when i came out i still dunno anything...
and i still went to buy food, then aft that i was pushed over by tongjing...
and i saw the most amazing sight in my entire life!
ohmygod! the pple frm 5k bought me 17 cakes!
and all lighted with candles! placed in a heart shape!
ohmygod! im like totally touched!
i cried! i cried totally! somemore chingxin still say wad she forgot lo!
im like SUPER TOUCHED!
thank you! all of you made today the best day of my life!
thank you! <333333
LYDIA, LITING, SINYEE, XINYU, CHINGXIN, LIHUI, YUSHAN, ZIMIN, SILIN, QIANHUI!
ohmygod! thank you loads and loads and loads!!!!!!
im like super super happy when all of you sang bdae song for me
and when i made the bdae wish and ate the cakes with all of you!
it's super nice and the cakes taste extra sweet!!!!!
THANK YOU!!!

then ARMY OPEN HOUSE!!!!!
took loads of pictures and went arnd playing!
im so happy that for the first time in my life, i can celebrate my bdae with so many pple! thank you! and all the pple who wished me happy bdae! thank you!!!<333

aft that is the dinner that i have with my beloved 4i clique!! <333
went plaza sing! and we ate at cafe cartel!
the sudden burst of bdae song... the helping me take things! (although is i force de la), all made me damn damn touched!
the prezzies you'all bought for me! i say i want, then you'all buy le leh!
ohmygod! thank you!
i wna thank all of you for pei-ing me celebrate my 17th bdae.
it's all of you that make my bdae so so special!
THANK YOU and i will LOVE ALL OF YOU FOREVER!!!
CONSTANCE!!!!
ANNA!!!!
HAIWEI!!!!
JENNIE!!!!
HUIYUAN!!!
ERJIE!!!!
ZHENGYANG!!!!
SERMING!!!!
THANK YOU LOADS!!!!!
thank you esp to huiyuan, serming, zhengyang and constance for helping me carry all my things! thank you constance for letting me touch ur ears again and again today!
thank you haiwei for hwe socks and rose and the bear!!!!
thank you constance for the bracelet!!!!
thank you erjie for the ring!!!
thank you zhengyang and serming for the cushion! i shall hug it to slp tonight :D

and haiwei, i rly believed you.
because i love you so i believed every word u said!
u told me u forgot my bdae, and u TOTALLY forgot abt it.
i was sad and emo! i was thinking how can u forget so thoroughly when we just talked abt it ytd...
but i din realised it was all ur plan!
when u passed me ur prezzie aft dinner, i was so surprised and touched and i cried.
because i thought i was so insignificant to u
and it turns out not to be! that makes me treasure everything even more!
thanks for everything you've done for me!
thank you! and I LOVE YOU!

and thank you! ZHENGYANG! ( i din call u by full name le hor!)
haha thank you for pei-ing me all these bdaes!
u are always the last one i see on my bdae!
thank you for waiting for me for my bus to come! :D
just like last year on my 16th bdae!
thank you so much!!! :DDD <333

so, to everyone who are involved in my bdae one way or another,
give me ur blessings, wished me haapy bdae! gave me a handshake! and the
many prezzies you'all gave me!
thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank you for making my bdae so wonderful!
making this day the best day of my life.
吴嘉仪很幸福哦！多亏你们，让我非常非常幸福。
所以大家也要一起幸福哦！
嘉仪爱你们！<333

寻找梦想 11:18 PM

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tmr is the first time in my entire life that i will be celebrating my bdae in school.
i am like so excited and nervous at the same time.
so many pple like to tempt me, make me feel so ahh!
haha lols but of course i will look forward to tmr! totally! ^^
我感到很温馨，很温暖。
i feel im so loved by so many people!
thank yous to those who gave me their well wishes and prezzies le!
thank you! haha
and early thanks to those who will be making me happy and touched tmr!
hope i wont be touched until cry tmr lo!
haha
yays!
^^ <33333

寻找梦想 9:21 PM

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koizora movie is really damn damn sad lo...
no matter how many times i watch, i will still cry at the exactly same parts lo
but it's kinda nice to cry so badly and let it all out.
let the tears have some reason to flow all they want.
but i will have to deal with the side effects lo...
coz my eyes now are very very sore and it's ach-ing.
and i have to say sorry to my eyes again coz i know that
i will be going to cry again tonight.
ming zhong zhu ding wo ai ni...
i will feel damn sad today...
ohnos! haha but i feel so distressed now...
well slightly bah! haha

寻找梦想 8:26 PM

i shall go watch koizora again.
最好的催泪剂！

寻找梦想 12:30 PM

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