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cantiaohai aka mini_ds

heyy...
thanks for taking a step out and telling me.
coz i rly appreciate that, although i cant rly help u except to listen to all that you wna tell me, but i believe that things will work out somehow.
and because u let me know that u trust me,
i will definitely be there for you. <333

寻找梦想 12:27 PM

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The Proposal
yea, haiwei, it's hilarious.
but i think it's great too, i mean im touched.
the way they fell in love and everything was like meant to be.
can literally feel the sparks btwn them.
and i dunno why, im obssessed with lips, yes lips.
it happened in 500 days of summer, and it happened with this.
holy, im like grossed out by myself, but i juz cant help but notice.
does hollywood esp produce that kind of lips that make me go crazy?
first, Joseph Gordon-Levite, then now Ryan Reynolds.
I mean, im not attracted to their looks, becoz they dun look fantastic.
but im obssessed with their lips? like hello?
but haha great movie. Hmm, wad shld i watch next?
felt like watching cartoons though!
oh!i knw wad i wna watch! aliens in the attic!
haha save that for tmr, and then i will review it here again.
pretty life, happy and carefree.
LIP-CRAZY! <333 :DDD

寻找梦想 5:42 PM

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500 days of summer
Joseph Gordon-Levite aka Tom
haha i got a shock when i watch this movie.
i mean he is not the most fantastic guy that i have ever seen.
I mean he is not handsome for one.
but he's got charm.
i like everything of him and looking at him somehow juz make me smile.
i like the style, the clothes he wear.
the way he wear them.
i like the way he sling his bag over his shoulder
and the crease it made on his shirt.
i like the shape of his arm and the veins that popped out a litte.
i like the way he smiles and the way his lips are curved and crafted.
and also the little dimple on his right cheek.
it juz make him so perfect in that imperfect way.
he is not fantastic, but he is perfect.
i think the movie is good too, when u lose summer, u still have autumn. haha

2012
well, i heard a number of good comments on this one,
so i decided to watch it. it's not too bad
a little typical with all the disaster movies popping out recently.
but i have to say, the effects are good, the director directs it well.
hits the emotions of the audience, i gasped, i cried.

I guess all was great.
happy endings and i like that.
im gonna try The Proposal next. taa~

寻找梦想 4:00 PM

exhausted and bored.
sitting on the sofa until my tailbone hurts.
watching movies when im supposed to be doing my hmwk.
haiz...but...
2012! 500 days of summer!

寻找梦想 1:54 PM

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felt so pumped up ytd
and i beleive that a lot of pple like me, do not want the workshop to end.
i mean, we learnt so many things there and we are juz getting the feel of writing...
ohwells, but i guess there are still a lot of chances for us to do it :D
and i cant wait.
i love their presence. i mean, although i dunno them and i dun even rmb their names,
but they are pple who share the same dream as me, who loves writing.
and i juz love the atmosphere.
except her.
我不喜欢在我写作时，有人打扰我。
有人说过：作家都是自闭的。
我也不例外，当我想要认真写作时，和我说话也只会打乱我的思绪。
我也会有自闭的时候。
i sat at the secluded area of the lib stairway to think abt my story.
i dunno why, usually im afraid of dark stairways as they are the hot fav for horror movies. but this time round, it gives me a very calm feeling.
perhaps is the light coming from the doorway and the feeble sunlight shining
in from the high windows that waved my fear away.
i sat there comfortably and ignored the weird stares i get from the students and mentors. haha but i guess all writers have something weird abt them.
and i think that the mentors are rly rly nice and helpful.
they are rly warm and friendly and patiently guide us through our doubts.
one of the mentor still sat with me in the stairway and looked through my story and gave me feedback, we juz sat there talking and discussing...
and i feel total happiness coz this is wad i wanna do.
i wanna write.
and i realise i write pretty well in english too.
haha what i wrote was good.
but not good enough, not up to THE standard.
and i will work hard.
also, i realise i like to read realist, social drama in english.
bt i dont like to write them. for writing, im more towards fantasy.
somehow, the further it gets from reality, the wilder my imagination can fly.
and i like that. :D
i couldnt wait to get my pen sliding over the surface of the paper again.
it's that kind of feeling that make my spirits soar.
it's that kind of thinking up storyline that make my adrenaline rush.
holy! haha and i want some more! MORE!

带着依依不舍的心情，我去　vivo meet anna.
to see beard papa the shuai guy. budden he is not there.
anna,　只能怪你没眼福了。
还有突如其来有一种冲动想涂上深蓝色闪亮亮的指甲油。
在还没找到完美的之前，我涂了白色的过过瘾。
我可是忍着那一股臭味，憋着气一路涂下来的呢！牺牲可真是大。
不过，最近荷尔蒙失调了。腹部传来的剧烈疼痛让我连微笑的力气都提不起来。
真是悲哀。怎么我得受这样的苦呢？
这一个礼拜的计划也只能因身体的不适而泡汤了。
不过，我还有很多书，陪伴着我。
走路去巴黎。蛮不错的！太好了！

寻找梦想 1:09 PM

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自己到底是怎么了？
一整天下来根本就提不起劲。。。
比哭，还要惨。
因为，哭不出来。
因为，找不到理由解释自己的心情。
怎么会那么低落。
莫名的，感受不到任何温暖，感受不到任何幸福。
笑容好像也不是我的了。

寻找梦想 8:35 PM

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心里的情绪复杂交错。
我对你们很失望。

i attended the writing workshop for 2 days now and i have to say i love it totally.
coz they are like teaching the technics for writing and
analyzing storylines and woah!
ya, but i learnt another thing...
pretending to be someone you are not.
很累，很辛苦。
i felt for the first time, that i do not want to be the real me.
i dunno why.
原来吴嘉仪也有不像当吴嘉仪的时候。
是不是不做吴嘉仪就不会有那么多烦恼。
im anticipating the coming 2 days of the workshop
coz we are finally going to write.
writing for comics... hmm, i have never done anything lidat b4
so that will be totally a new experience.
Road less travelled, hmm, i have no inspiration yet though.
but looking at my mood now, i guess the story will turn out to be a tragic one.

anticipating new moon with taylor lautner!

celebrated jennie's bdae at eighteen chefs' at tiong last night.
i guess the food was great and we bought donuts for the bdae girl!
i love the one i ate! fantastic!
quite long nvr get tgth like all of us haha
except i still some of them during work.
but... 为什么每次在开心过后，都会发生让我心情低落的事呢？
你们就那么认为吗？

the workshop can be a form of training for me.
train me to put on a shield on front of pple,
train me to hide my feelings in front of pple.
这样以后我们见面时，我才不会那么轻易德透露出我的情感，才比较容易面对你们。
i hope it's not too late for me to learn how to pretend.
and not too late for me to put on the mask.

寻找梦想 6:14 PM

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冬至之雪
这一本书，我很喜欢很喜欢。
喜欢女主角的男生共有三个。一个冷漠。。。一个霸道。。。还有一个是典型的温柔。
这种纯爱小说是为了让我们有童话般的幻想吧！
温柔的男生总不会得到女主角的爱。
剩下霸道和冰冷的男主角决斗。
有时，冷酷王子获胜，有时则是霸道的赢了。
以前，我总是偏向冷酷的王子，支持他们。
但不知从什么时候开始，我也喜欢上他们的霸道和隐隐透露出来的体贴。
应该是蒙太一改变了我的心态吧。。。他的霸道也给人看到他的温柔。
也是第一次让我知道不是每场战争都注定冷酷王子是赢家。
而这一次，霸道的他除了让我看到无私的体贴和温柔，还有痴情。
即使知道她的心始终不属于他，他还是愿意默默地等。
这也让我意识到，再深的友情，其实也会被一句简单的‘我喜欢你’而破碎。
这也证明了爱情永远比友情来的痛苦。
这也增加了我对告白这件事的恐惧。
这本书，我为叶准仁哭了很多次。看到他的苦，他的痛，我的心疼了。
他。。。默默的付出，只希望她得到幸福。
纵使自己很累，很痛，也无所谓。为什么那么好的男生得受那么大的苦。
李俊夕。。。在还没认清自己的感情之前上了好多人。伤了李俊雅，更伤害了叶准仁。
我不能确切地说，这一次我喜欢霸道的叶准仁，因为我也为李俊夕的举动忧伤，感动。
我也深深地被李俊夕吸引。因为他是我喜欢的类型。是我认定适合我，骑着白马的王子。
可是，这一次我的心被分成了两半，一半的疼惜给了叶准仁，一半给了李俊夕。
虽然，我知道如果我是女主角，我也会选择李俊夕。
可是，我不希望自己那么残忍的把叶准仁推开，还叫他忘记自己。
我办不到，不能将守护自己的天使那么冷酷的撇开。
更不能忍受他眼里的悲痛。爱情注定有人喜，有人忧。
但是，如果自己的幸福建立在别人的痛苦上，我也会很难过的。
我知道自己很矛盾。如果我是女主角，我一定会在叶准仁和李俊夕之间挣扎很久。对了，还有李俊雅。
但是，若我是牺牲者，我却会像要让我心爱的人得到快乐。
我啊。。。还真是矛盾。
可是，爱情还真是让人很痛苦，若你爱上不该爱的人。。。
一辈子当朋友是不是会比较好一些？
如果结局有可能是苦的，那么不要开始，会不会好一点？
我什么时候变得那么悲观了？不管结局是苦是痛，曾经拥有是不是才是最重要的呢？

套一句话：
喜欢一个人，不是一定要得到他，更不是要去伤害他喜欢的人。
而是情不自禁的想要给他快乐，是心甘情愿的看着他幸福。

寻找梦想 5:29 PM

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哇！去一个音乐会还搞的问题重重。。。
真是大大的把我的期待锐减了。
其实我也不知道我在期待什么，我也不是他的忠实粉丝。。。
可是，就是很期待。

谢谢你千惠！~

寻找梦想 2:51 PM

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aching shoulders!
and im going back sch tmr...
again and im like abit reluctant. haha but then at night i got dinner!
haha with my mum, so sorta brightens up my mood! wahaha
but then it will means that im gna change my earring... scare scare
then the concert on sat! it's coming! it's coming!
haha im excited! but then my aunt gave the extra 2 tickets to dunno who...
so hmmm... haha but i think i will still be high all day long!
and then moi shall slp more and maybe start on my hmwk.
MAYBE...

寻找梦想 8:28 PM

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今天还真是事事不顺心啊！！
anna 和 serming 不陪我去音乐会了。。。
然后一时间我问的人都不想去。
然后，在回家的路上，我的心情就慢慢的变得像窗外的天空一样，
下着雨，灰蒙蒙的。
其实，那票也不是我的，也是免费的，我干吗那么在意呢？
过后，我才想起上起 take 过的 personality test 说过我最害怕被拒绝。
好像这次，一次又一次的打击，一次一次的被拒绝。。。
我的小小心怎么受得了？好像有伤口裂开在我的心上。。。
郁闷。再加上我搭错了车。
我上了一辆绕路的车，还我花了将近两个小时才到家。
心情就更郁闷了。
不过，回到家以后，重了个热水澡，眉上的乌云就散开了很多。
安慰了自己一下，还有也想起了我本来很想 blog 的东西，只是一直忘记。
其实，本来就是我和我的舅母去的啊~ 一切只是回到原点而已。
这个星期六是我整个假期最后最期待的星期六了。。。
所以，我想不管怎样，心里还是依旧很期待的吧！
还有，那些我问过的人，又拒绝我的人，不要自责哦！
我没有怪你们啦！没事的！

哦！我又有点忘记我要说的话了，所以还是赶紧写下来比较好。
昨天不是提到我看得那本书吗？
里面有些说：我喜欢你，这四个字有时会给心爱的人很多负担。
我想想，还真是很有道理。
害怕说出来以后会破坏掉彼此之间特殊的感情。
那也是我从不说出那四个字的原因吧。。。
真的要确定自己的心，还有对方的心意时，才可以将这宝贵的四个字说出来。
想起以前喜欢过的那些人。。。我在想自己会不会对他们说出那四个字呢？
从小六到中一，我的 infactuations 又超多个，也超短暂的。
那些应该是我定不下心，有情窦初开才会胡乱以为自己喜欢上的人吧！
那些人如果我真的对他们告白的话，那就天下大乱了！
当然，幸好我没有。我都说了，我这一辈子还没遇到会令我说出那四个字的人。
那些人，我都忘了，只记得有是几个是同学，有几个是学长。
当我真正领悟到喜欢是什么的时候，因该时遇到那个学长的时候。
从此，我再也没有那些傻傻的 infactuations.
只是以昧的对他依恋着。也可以说是他让我徘徊的心定了下来。
虽然他的结束很苦，但是我很感谢他给我的领悟。
看了那本书，竟然想了那么多，也才终于明白最不了解的，才是自己最有兴趣的。
因为和他不熟悉，所以才想要多了解他一些。才会把他想得格外完美。
其实我也蛮害怕忽然之间闯进我生活，并打乱我规律的人。
没有安全感。我好象又把话题扯远了。
其实也只是有感而发。

对了，说说今天的事吧！
anna 对我说他昨晚看到了流星。
很羡慕她！我也很想看！
然后不知怎么的，回想起小时候听到的故事。
传说，每一颗星星都代表着在人间的一个人。
所以，只要身边亲爱的人过世，你就会看到夜空里的一颗星星坠落。
然后为那颗星祈祷。
因此当时还小的我，还蛮怕看到流星的。
其实，现在也一样，不过也听说对着流星许愿很灵，所以也还蛮想试的。
不过，大家不觉得以上的传说很维美吗？
这个故事一定是已烙印在我心里很久了，这样我才能记得那么清楚。
took a sip of anna's ice blended vanilla coffe today and im sorta addicted
haha so i shall drink tmr!

and hor the day b4 ytd the night, i felt my earring drop out when i was slping...
so i woke up and tried to find the earring.
found it alright, then i place it on my table and was thinking abt wearing
the earring the nxt morning.
but then i was sorta afraid that the ear hole will close so
i went out to the toilet to try to put it on again.
and to my utter shock, i cant put the earring in anymore!
As in like, it got stuck in the middle, then i freaked!
I kept poking and i felt pain and i was even more scared.
i saw my face went pale in the mirror!
i was totally 慌！
then i gave up and took out the earring and holy! i see blood!
and i panicked! and i tried to put in the thinner stud,
it was successful but then im worried that i cnt wear the thicker earring from then on. ohnos! and i had an unpleasant slp till the morning.
haiz,i shall try to wear it when i have the courage to take it off again...
Poor ear! Poor me!

寻找梦想 5:49 PM

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读了一本从图书馆里借的书。
不怎么样，没什么剧情，女主角的心情起伏也没什么落差。
从头悲到尾，但是又被得不够彻底，痛得不够痛彻心扉。
所以没什么吸引我的兴趣，本来还想借给 anna 打发打发明天的时间。
但是，这本书真的没到水准呢！
最近有点儿忙，向左假期作业但又有点力不从心。
真的只想整天发呆，什么事都不用管。
这也算是逃避烦恼的一种办法吧！
又想去秘密基地了~

寻找梦想 9:06 PM

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今天，其实蛮开心的。
去了秘密基地。很兴奋，哪里是我能完全放松的地方。
好好聊天，看看书，多笑一点。
虽然心情蛮愉快的，但是还蛮累的。
明天的节目也排得满满的。想好好休息都很难。
背很痛，眼睛很酸。连蜡笔小新我都不想看了。
想夹了。可能是他陪着我度过我人生中最彷徨最无助的时光吧！
很可笑吧。。。他什么都没做。
只是我看着他就觉得很幸福了。。。
阿夹。。。想重看水果篮。
因为这样我才会重新体验到阿夹的存在。
虽然他已遇到他生命中的唯一，虽然我比不上小透。。。
我还是想把他当成我生命里的推动力。
但是，每一次看到小透有多么大的勇气去帮助阿夹，我就会埋怨自己的无能。
所以，每一次看完，我都会想要成为那样的女生，然后重燃希望，再去寻找我生命里的夹。
那一种初次暗恋，那一种一见钟情，我不会忘记。
不管想夹那样的男生会不会在现实生活里出现，能够让我遇见阿夹已经是我这一辈子最大的快乐。
虽然和他看的不是同一片天空，虽然我们的世界截然不同，我啊，早已泥足深陷，无可救药了。

寻找梦想 9:06 PM

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今天是黑色星期五。
可是，和往常不一样的是，今天的星期五带给我的是好运。
以往，我通常都会在这个日子，至少跌倒三次，但是今天没有哦！
一大早起床，就吃了好好吃的包！
下楼虽然下晚了，但是车马上就来了哦！
这样我就没有迟到，悠哉游哉的在 lib 等 grp members 来。
还拿到了免费的 readers' digest! :D
真是太好了，不是吗？
today finally finished pw.
budden hor, i sorta felt hollow inside.
like we keeo meeting up for the past month for almost every single day.
sacrificed so much sleep for all the meetings!
suddenly nvr meet le will feel weird leh.
so i shall organize more and more PW outings! <333
aft we handed in our gpf today, me, shiyuan, cass, simon, spencer and tongjing
went to pizza hut to eat!
sorta like to 庆功 la! yays! and i think it was superb! :D
then aft pple started to leave, me, cass and tongjing went to diaso to shop
i bought an accessories box to put all my earrings! :D
and i bought my fav sweet and the crayon shin-chan biscuits!
i shall share it with anna dna serming at work tmr!
see, im such a kind soul!!!
im looking forward to sat!
one is tmr, one is nxt week!
佳人有约！还有张韶涵的音乐会！
super happy! and hor, i took off my studs le!
and i put in the silver ones that my mom bought for me!
frm perlin's silver! haha i was actually quite scared when i tried to take them off.
but then after i successfully wore the new earrings, im happy happy all day long!
haha and i began to like glitter babay, the book jennie lend me!
it's nice leh! ohmygod! haha
"my baby doesn't just shines, she glitters!"
(jennie, aren't you going to love me for this?)
haha

我看到了你对她的认真。
而我只能在一旁。哪一种地带是我触碰不到的。
janice told me she saw him again, at ion.
there is this bubble in me that rose suddenly, i dunno for wad reason.
but why, why is it that i din meet him at all for the past 3 years?
so fast aint it? 3 years have passed.
how will i feel then if it was me who spotted him?
i dunno. but everything has passed, and i was able to look at this info with a smile.
maybe, i can see the light again!
hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahaha

寻找梦想 9:18 PM

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Tmr is the day.
就是明天了。好复杂的心情。
紧张，心跳已快到我无法控制的地步。
深呼吸，恐慌。好害怕。
这么多的努力全放在明天的五分钟，好害怕我会搞砸。
因为，这不再是我一个人的成绩，是 rv052， 大家的成绩。
大家，加油咯！
1）微笑
2）眼神交流
3）姿势
4）活力
5）自信
四叶草， 还需要点运气！

寻找梦想 8:29 PM

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真不明白为什么有时候会有如此熟悉的感觉。。。
但是有时却又只能安安静静的站在一起。。。
有时候的欢笑和快乐。。。为什么不能一直持续呢？
这样会让我怀疑自己到底是否走入你心里。。。
我在你心里只是一个普通的朋友吗？
当我们彼此之间的联系慢慢消失，我们的感情也会随之蒸发吗？

我知道。。。是我自己傻。。。
找罪来给自己受，你本来就很幸福啊！
是我自己被自己的想法给捆绑住。。。
注定我只能望着你远去的背影。

听起来好像很悲哦？
不过，有时候你的无言让我感到害怕。
我们是否在单独相处的时候，就会变得不一样？
我有点累。已经不想去猜测你心里在想些什么。
或许当这一切都结束，我们的互动越来越少后，或许我就会有勇气去面对残酷的事实。。。
然后把你放下，重新开始。

寻找梦想 9:43 PM

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Practising OP super hard.
Memo script until i wanna puke.
ohmygod! but our grp rly knw how to play! ^^
haha thks chloe! ohmygod! im so touched!
she bought me smth frm the anchorpoint shop!
LOVES!
and honey drink from mummy!
Make my pleasant voice come back and im ready to roll!
(maybe not)
*scared scared*

寻找梦想 8:50 PM

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me watching crayon shin-chan now!
haha wad he do is quite stupid la, so maybe watch too much, i will become quite
retarded too.
but juz becoz this is so no-brainer, it is like so relaxed watching it! :D
especially after OP so tense, of course needa relax abit.
ohmygod! im in the dilemma mood again.
im dreading tuesday but yet i want it to be over asap.
wahh!

寻找梦想 6:27 PM

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dunno wad is wrong with my chinese blog.
it cant even be shown la!
does that mean that i have to change my template?
is it a signal to change the skin?
ohman but i think the spirited away skin is totally awesome!
haha ohmygod!
my pw grp came to my hse today.
scared me all of a sudden, they say they wna come lols
with me still coughing away... sighs

寻找梦想 5:59 PM

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我去找了一些花的花语，发现有些真的很感人！
以下是一些我认为很美的！

茉莉花:和蔼可亲

萱草:遗忘的爱

长春花:快乐回忆

蒲公英:勇敢无畏

向日葵（又叫望日莲）： 崇敬之情／沉默的爱

风铃草:坚贞感激， 温柔的爱

含羞草:易动的心

柠檬草：说不出的爱

紫罗兰：请相信我、青春永驻

野蔷薇:浪漫的爱情（野蔷薇物语：跟你一起转到天堂去）

六月雪：少女的美态

勿忘我： 友谊万岁、永远思念

满天星： 配角，但不可缺， 思念

天堂鸟： 自由、幸福、吉祥

马蹄莲： 纯洁、幸福、清秀

草莓花： 甜蜜

荷花 ： 纯洁桔梗：不变的爱、诚实、柔顺、悲哀。 永恒的爱，无望的爱。

菖蒲：信仰者的幸福

仙人掌：藏在心底的爱

火绒草花语： 重要的回忆。

桃花：爱情俘虏

桂花：吸入你的气息

含羞草：敏感的心

白杨：勇气

夏雪草：纯真

油菜花：幸福

四野草：永恒与友谊

杨树：纯洁与盟约

薰衣草：等待

百合：有清纯、胜利、高雅、神圣的意思，是天使长加百列的象征，但在日本是不祥之花

芙蓉：是法国的宫廷之花，有贞操、早熟、纯洁的意思

苜蓿：幸运、希望

柠檬美女樱：忍耐
飞燕草：清静

栀子：永恒的爱与约定

迷迭香：追忆与永恒不变的爱

水仙：清纯自爱

红玫瑰：真诚的爱情

羽扁豆：幸福

金鱼草：愉快

红郁金香：爱的誓言

粉牵牛花：柔情

黄郁金香：渴望之爱

败酱：纯洁、柔情

紫丁香：初恋

凤梨：完美无缺

酸模：爱情、爱慕

毋忘我：永恒的爱

红掌：天长地久

月见草：默默的爱

三色堇： 思念
　 　
金鱼花：悲哀

柏枝：哀悼

柳枝：悲伤、哀悼 　 　

寻找梦想 6:37 PM

病了。。。和那些体内的细菌战斗还真是辛苦。
OP 就快要到了。我的要赶快好起来才行。
真希望，明天就可以康复了。
要吃好多好多的药。全身也在冒冷汗。
平时超爱讲话的我，因为喉咙的关系，也不想出声了。
不过，我看完篮球火了！还真是不错呢！
好了，我得好好去休息了。。。
养病去！和感冒战斗去！

寻找梦想 3:03 PM

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SC camp.
for the first day... nothing much bah just lidat lo.
i worried for wr and rushed here and there all morning.
but good job pple! lets also jiayous for OP!
rv052! jiayous! haha lols!
2nd day... well i wasnt feeling well
so din go for morning exercise. haiz actually
i dunwan to go for the camp de coz i dun feel well mah.
budden need parents come fetch so haiz wait until then,
might as well stay for the entirre camp lo...
wow SCs do footdrills leh! lols somemore i teach them...
haha like go back to NCC.. my standard is still there leh.
wow once they go into footdrills, my voice totally changed!
YEEHAA! NCC gave me the skills that i will nvr forget.
and my bang... haha is still damn solid la! woots!
then got this super memorable game... squueze and spread.
wow tons of us cried la can...
is like this camp/instructors are totally successful in
helping the whole council bond and unite
but i think they failed to make me feel attached to them.
becoz they act so well in trying to demoralise us and pull us apart.
i dunno whether they are real anymore.
like the instructors that cheer with us and played with us b4...
are they treating us truly or are they acting as well.
throughout the camp, they have been losing my trust of them.
the more they act and the more they lie, the more i dun trust them anymore.
the more i cnt make myself listen to them and the more i feel distant from them.
i guess our paths may nvr cross again
but then i still have to thank them for giving us such a memorable experience.
make the SCs more united. :D

寻找梦想 1:43 PM

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