Friday, April 23, 2010
I guess I am just getting too tired and stressed out.
There don't seems to be enough time, but seemingly endless things to complete.
And, I feel exasperated.
Swimming, no, drowning in tons of problems that totally overwhelmed me.
I wake up in the morning, dreading the day ahead and counting down to every weekend.
I don't want this to happen.
I want myslef to enjoy my everyday in school and remember as many faces and as many events as possible so that i can look back someday and smile with tears.
I still have about 6 more months to go and I am feeling like I've died.
Every week, I've died and revived again.
Pissed, frustrated at the questions that I was not able to solve.
Screaming loud inside about relationship problems.
What is happening? Kinship, friendship.
Everything is just spinning out of control and all I can do is stare.
And listen to all the nasty things that kept bouncing off my skull.
I don't know how to say, how to confide.
I see THE look, the are you serious, ohmygod, i feel so sorry for you look.
Or the you must be exaggerating again look.
Please, look beyond the superficial level of me.
How much do you think you know me?
From the way you speak and talk to me, I know that you think that you understood me 100 percent, but guess what, I am so much more than that.
Surprise! Not.
I have no idea what to say anymore.
I can just nod like a doll. And I feel vulnerable to the mood swings within me.
I am sorry, it was not intentional.
If i had snapped at you, rolled eyes at you for the past 2 weeks, I apologise.
I am sorry, I don't even know why.
Sudden mood swings make me even more exasperated.
I hope this moods will pass quickly and leave the peace behind.
And thanks everyone who showed their concern for me today.
I really appreciate it, that pushed my tolerance level up and allow me to bear with the pain better. I got a feeling that all the mood swings got to do with IT!
ahh~! Let's see how it is after it pass.
Haiz, painssssssssss!
Mugging sapped me from my life. I have no more life left.
寻找梦想 8:44 PM
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