Tuesday, January 04, 2011
I don't know what to feel.
Why must you choose me? Of all people?
Am I really wrong?
Are the rest really wrong to judge?
And I am the one with the most fault because I allowed others to sway my thoughts?
Then, are you swaying my thoughts too?
Am I really like that?
So dependent and reliant... Trusting you so much that I just fall into everything you've said, everything you've plotted so easily?
Am I wrong then?
What are we? What do we have?
Will we continue? So many questions, so many doubts.
Do you know that you are doing the exact same thing that you are telling me to me?
Then I am doing that to you as well?
Did you sense it? At the very beginning?
My feeble attempt at hostility?
Did you sense the awkwardness? The very first that we had?
I am scared that we won't.
But I am equally scared that we will.
Please don't push me away first, no matter what your intentions are, and come chasing after me next and telling me how much I mean to you.
Please don't neglect me first and then tell me how much you understand me afterwards.
Though i like roller coaster rides, I only like it physically, never emotionally.
Please don't raise my hopes up way beyond the cloud cover, letting me peek on the fabulous rainbow you coloured just for me, and let me fall free fall downwards, and smile at my helplessness.
Please... If you want, just hold on to me.
You don't have to tighten your grip gradually.
Just don't loosen it.
Or... At the very least, before you loosen it, give me a warning.
So that I am mentally prepared.
So that I can look up at you and smile for the very last time even though you are watching me fall.
But, of course, I rather that to not happen.
But how much longer can I deceive myself?
Can you do me just this favour?
寻找梦想 9:00 PM
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