Saturday, January 08, 2011
I seriously need to write something.
I need to go down to that hideout of mine and just sit there.
I need and obviously, I want to slip into the virtual world that I create.
The one world that I can control and manage.
I can create tragedies and blow them away in the end with a happily ever after.
I would rather myself to believe that there is such an ending.
Makes me have more hope.
Changes the way I feel about things.
It feels kinda strange actually.
To be able to talk and joke about it so easily.
And it felt like a confession to me.
好像在和暗恋的对象表白一样。
But... you know, I am THAT uncertain.
你会嫌弃我吗？
因为我小气，无理，占有欲强，小心眼，心胸狭窄，心理不平衡。。。
你会嫌弃我吗？
I know.
I can feel it somehow.
But I don't feel like doing it.
It's not like I hate you or anything.
I love you, very much.
It's just feels weird all of a sudden.
Like I've lost that familiarity.
Has it occurred to you as well? That's why I haven't heard from you in such a long time?
What am I supposed to say when you are put through?
How are you?
I know, redundant questions that I have.
But still... what are you feeling right now?
Is my voice the one thing that you want to hear?
Yes, uncertain again. Of course, what other emotions can I have?
I am only good at that, it seems.
I need all the luck in the world.
And I need all the reassurances.
I want people to tell me that everything is going to be okay.
I want people to believe in me.
Regardless of the odds.
But the question is, will anybody do that?
What will I do if I am left stranded in an island I know nothing of.
And the unfamiliar faces there doubt me?
Will that instill fear and doubts and uncertainty in me as well?
Will that make me lose faith?
And forget the faces of my loved ones and those that loved me?
Then how will I stand alone? And how will I find my way back?
Will the wind only whisper the good stuff in my ear?
And brush the troubles away from my head?
And bring me back to the other half that I left behind?
I just want to hear the good things.
Call it deceiving, deluding. Whatever.
It doesn't hurt me to want to feel better.
I don't want the truth. I want reassurances.
That's all I need to hear.
It can be fake, it can be a weak attempt of deception.
I will accept it, because it's you. And I choose to believe in you.
寻找梦想 10:06 PM
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