Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Was mildly depressed this afternoon.
So I bought my favourite Starbucks' white chocolate mocha to cheer myself up.
I figured that I am easily sidetracked.
Or perhaps I just haven't really figure out what I want.
Lost, so easily.
I thought I screwed the interview up.
I thought there goes the opportunity.
I am already committed to ODAC, and I said that it will be okay even if I couldn't get into Nanyang Chronicle.
I was really quite affected by ADdiction.
I thought experience is everything that weekimwee looks for.
So I was hesitant, I was afraid.
I comforted myself even before I went for the interview.
I braced myself for the coming rejection.
I was ready.
I guess coming into weekimwee... It hurt my ego a little.
Like I was never good enough compared to the rest who are so talented.
I just lost track of my own ability and simply thought I had none.
I felt inferior. And I let that thought get into my head.
But I was surprised that the editors embraced me for who I am.
They can accept the fact that I have no past writings to show them for the time being.
They are willing to take me in simply on the recommendation of a senior.
And of that interview that I pretty much screw up quite a lot.
But then I was traumatised.
That was not what I expected.
I have no idea what to do. I came to uni, not wanting to commit to anything.
Then ODAC came. Then this came.
But it's too much of an opportunity for me to turn down.
I need to stop procrastinating. And start on something that can kickstart my journey of dream. Everyone is following their passion and I don't want to stone in hall anymore.
Though my sense of shock turned into mild depression rapidly.
But I am going to take a leap of faith.
Though I have conflicted views in my head that I cannot express, I am going to open this door and see where it will take me.
Went to run as a weak attempt to clear my mind.
I will use this as a potential path to search for my dream/inspirtation again.
Perhaps, this is it.
寻找梦想 9:09 PM
_____________
