Friday, November 25, 2011
Feels awkward.
Wah people end paper liao wor and I just completed my second one.
Sighs, every single paper that I have experienced reminds me of A levels Economics!
I wonder whether is that good or bad.
Feels awkward.
When I am feeling so manipulated and yet I have never mastered the ability to say no.
Kinda hate myself for bringing these onto myself sometimes.
Feels awkward.
Since it has already begin to feel weird when I show my nude part of my heart, perhaps it is time to STOP IT.
Why can't I just do it?
All I do is agree to it, show that I want it too and then moan alone.
WHY?
Yes, I do want it.
Yes, I still care.
But I don't want to anymore, because I know that I will fall back into that dark hole again. I will feel everything that I've felt before.
I don't want to be manipulated.
I don't want to be nice anymore.
Because I no longer want to be hurt.
But still, I can't bear to hurt him.
Is that the reason why I always choose to go along with him every single time?
And then bear with the consequences alone later?
Feeling imbalance and uncertain and stuff?
WHY?
Why must he always appear AGAIN when I have decided to start a fresh page.
And then my new page will be tainted. And then there is simply no point to start again.
I couldn't understand it, not a single part of it.
寻找梦想 10:53 AM
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